Week 14

McDonalds releases new Chicken Mc4D

January 26th

McDonalds has announced a new limited time product, the Chicken Mc4D, a 4th dimensional chicken sandwich, that looks different every time you look at it (as typical for fourth dimensional objects.) Despite popular belief, this product is FDA approved. In fact, Marty Makary, director of the FDA has said”It is perfectly fine to eat them.” McDonalds has confirmed they do contain Tachyons (subatomic particles with negative mass and speed beyond C), and refuses to release how they are incorporated into the recipe

Trump replaces all pictures in PW of Fame with his face

January 27th

Many have criticized Donald Trump for some aspects of his Presidential Walk of Fame in the white house. However, in a failed attempt to lessen criticism that inevitably backfired, Trump has ordered all of the portraits to be replaced with a picture of his face. When asked for his reasoning, he said “In many ways, the reason I did this is because I am the president of the United States, and when you see a picture of the president, it should always be me, because I am and will always be, even when I’m dead, the president of the United States, in many ways.”

Hawaii governor plans to build bridge from Hawaii to United States 

January 28th

Josh Green, governor of Hawaii says he plans to begin construction on a 2,500 mile+ rope-bridge from Hawaii  to The United States, specifically to California. He says this is “To increase tourism and connection between Hawaii and other countries like The United States, construction of this bridge will begin this Saturday. It does have to be a rope bridge, as otherwise, it would take significantly longer and take more of our near zero budget.”